Hello reader,
I recently attended an Out of the Darkness walk in Cincinnati, I went because I wanted to make a statement about how serious this cause is. It is a cause that is very personal to me, as depression is something that affects my family, many of my friends, and me.
In our youth group tonight we discussed our personal burdens, how they can ruin us and that we should use them to help others. My burden has always been depression and suicide, even though I personally have never gotten to that point of desperation, and most likely never will because I have gotten help, so many others who I love and care about have been to that point. As someone who understands what depression feels like I can understand why they would think there is no other way. My best friend who suffers from it as well has told me many times "At least I would be at peace." when she seriously considered suicide, and she has attempted at least 3 times that I know of in this past year and a half. Other phrases she uses are "I feel numb." or "I don't care anymore." She lives half way across the country from me, and I always feel like I can't help her the way I should because of that.
The more I think about it, the more I realize that I as one person can't take on the responsibility of all my friends who are depressed, just because I understand their pain. That only adds to my own depression and anxiety. I care about everyone and I just want to, like so many other people should. I have noticed, however, that nobody does seem to care, as they all just sleep during the videos in school and make fun of them. When I spoke with one of my youth group leaders about this earlier tonight, she explained to me that it isn't that they don't care, it's simply that they don't understand. And she's right, they haven't been touched by it the way I have, they've never felt the loss of suicide or felt depression.
The easiest way I can describe depression to people, in a way they can relate to is that it feels like drowning. And I nearly drowned when I was in the third grade, and the reference is about as close as you can get. I never thought of it that way before until my friend who I mention before mentioned it. Your vision is distorted, the sounds are muffled, it hurts to make even a simple movement like scratching your nose, or even just to breath. Physically your still there, but mentally your in a whole other universe, and nobody understands. They just think you want attention, or that your sad, that you had a bad day. People don't take this seriously until suicide is attempted, and in some cases, it may be to late.
Parents don't always help either, partially because they don't understand, sometimes they may not know because their child hides it and never allows for anyone to help them, some pass it off as them wanting attention, and some just chose not to believe because it hurts them as parents too much to see their child suffer in that way and not know how to help. I wish I knew how to help more, but I am only one person, an 18 year old girl, and I can't do this alone.
The ugly truth is this:
U.S.A. SUICIDE: 2010 OFFICIAL FINAL DATA
Number Per Day Rate % of Deaths Group (Number of Suicides) Rate
Nation ........................... 38,364 .......... 105.1 .......... 12.4 ............ 1.6 White Male (27,422) ................ 22.6
Males ............................. 30,277 ............ 83.0 .......... 20.0 ............ 2.5 White Female (7,268) ................ 5.9
Females ........................... 8,087 ............ 22.2 ............ 5.2 ............ 0.7 Nonwhite Male (2,855) .............. 9.4
Whites ........................... 34,690 ............ 95.0 .......... 14.1 ............ 1.6 Nonwhite Female (819) ............. 2.5
Nonwhites ....................... 3,674 ............ 10.1 ............ 5.8 ............ 1.0 Black Male (1,755) .................. 8.7
Blacks .......................... 2,144 .............. 5.9 ............ 5.1 ............ 0.7 Black Female (389) .................. 1.8
Elderly (65+ yrs.) ............ 5,994 ............ 16.4 .......... 14.9 ............ 0.3 Hispanic (2,661) ........................ 5.3
Young (15-24 yrs.) .......... 4,600 ............ 12.6 .......... 10.5 .......... 15.6 Native Americans (469) ........... 11.0
Asian/Pacific Islanders (1,061) .. 6.2
Surly they're has to be something we can do to help right? Depression is a disease, if you suffer from it, you are not alone. You have to reach out and find help, seek treatment, find outlets that are not harmful to yourself or others. My personal outlets are reading, writing, and music. They can be anything for you though, something that you are passionate about. But I, as someone who understand what your going through and has received help, urge you to allow others to help you, and for you to help yourself. Please, do not become of these statistics. I am living prove that that you can make it through okay. God put you on this planet for a reason, and you need to live to see what that reason is.
If you know someone who suffers from depression, or even suspect it, find someone and talk to them, its the best thing you can do to help that person. You can't do it alone, but together, we can all make a difference. If I helped just one person by writing this, saved just one life, then I will have done a beautiful thing.
God bless.
Sincerely,
JournalForTruth
